Last weekend I found out my parents are not doing so well in their relationship. At first I thought it was empty nest syndrome, in that they just don’t know what to do with themselves now that my brothers and I are out of the house, married, and off to college.

I think I’ve mentioned it before, but I’ll say it again – my father is a pastor. He is a pastor for this reason-because he has a true love for helping people through their tough times. In this sense, he pastors the troubled sheep. Ever since I can remember, he has been giving advice to hundreds of people that cross his path.

My father is a pastor – even though he didn’t study the word as often as he should, each Sunday, he would get up before the congregation and deliver his message with fervor and passion. The message was almost exactly the same each Sunday, except for when he taught the adults Sunday school class – that he taught right out of a book.

My father is a pastor – even though he started hanging around with people who started poisoning him with their language, thoughts and behavior. He invited them to church, but unsuccessfully gained their attendance. He is there for them when they need something fixed, but never would they step foot in a church or even talk about God.

My father is a pastor – even though he has closed the church and does not attend a service anywhere else. My mom has even told him she wants to go to church somewhere in their area, and he has replied with not wanting to have anything to do with church anymore.

My mom has been paying the cell phone bill and found so many text messages and phone calls to a number in another town not far from theirs and they are sent at random hours of the day and night. She has confronted my dad about it and he denies ever calling that number and not even recognizing it. She has even called the number just to see who might answer. A woman. My mom asked to speak with her husband just to be sure it was maybe a co worker, and the woman replied, “Why do you want to speak to my husband? Are you having an affair with my husband?” Dead giveaway. Stupid lady. My mom with a quick return replies, “NO, are you having an affair with mine!?!” The woman becomes defensive. I myself have called in anger, but today, that number is no longer working…

My father is a pastor. He WAS probably having an affair. But just because he’s a pastor doesn’t mean he has super powers that protect him against things that ordinary people encounter everyday. He is also ordinary. I continue to say he is a pastor even though he is not because he has ministered to my life. Through his mistakes, I have learned that everything can be lost with one comment, one look, one lustful thought.

My mom and dad are still working things out little by little everyday, but it is so unfortunate to find out that even MY family – a family that once loved and served God with all their hearts, soul and mind, can be damaged by something so stupid.

I know it’s not my business to worry about them because each one of us has to work out our own salvation; we each have to carry our own cross, but why do things have to be so difficult when you’re trying to live an ordinary life because of extraordinary love? Maybe I have things wrong. Maybe living for that kind of love makes life extraordinary…

L.P.G.

ARRGGHHHH… that constantly bugs me, especially when I’m talking to colleagues. For example, we may be having a good time laughing and joking around and then someone (me) will try to say something funny, forget the punch line and then take the time to try and remember it, then, when finally remembered, has the audacity to try and finish the joke?

So often I leave a conversation feeling like a bimbo. It’s not that I don’t have good communication skills, but when people start going with trying to be funny, I often cross that line into a bit of awkwardness, not enough to make the group feel awkward, but to make me later leave thinking “how stupid was that?”

Maybe I just over-think things after I’ve said them and I worry to much after they’ve been said. But thinking back to “theme” of the week of taming the tongue, maybe I feel and think this because my self feels like I wasn’t able to control my tongue.

bleh…

L.P.G.

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So yesterday was Sunday, sermon day, and the same day I was setting up this whole blog…so  I wasn’t able to give you the sermon, but here it is: Taming the Tongue by Londa Lundstrom Ramsey

James 3:5-8 (New International Version)

⁵Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

⁷All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, ⁸but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

There are three points to consider when discussing this portion of James.

1.) Only you can prevent forest fires.

2.) Controlling our tongue is beyond our power, but not God’s.

3.) Choose God’s wisdom over your own.

Something my pastor said during her sermon was that like James 3:3-4 notes, just a little bit of uncontrolled maneuvering of the rudders or the bits in a horse’s mouth will route you in the wrong direction. Same applies to the tongue – if we don’t control what we say, our lives will be routed in the wrong direction.

Thinking about this in a practical way, I realize that often times, I am pessimistic in my comments in school, when I get out of church, to my wife, and, now that I think about it, it makes my life miserable. The tongue either creates life or creates death. How powerful is that!?!?! Now I hate thinking about times when I criticized something in a negative way.

On the other hand, it is easier for we as humans to be negative or see the negative side of things. It’s easier to complain than to compliment, even about ourselves. It’s easier to see people’s faults and flaws,  not like them for it and forget about them completely. Honestly, it’s easier! I like easier, who doesn’t? It’s easier to swear and cuss when I’m angry or hurt myself or get scared because of a close call, than to control what comes out of my mouth…it’s harder to control saying s@*! or f%*$. It’s harder to accept someone’s flaws and get along because you know that each time you meet, that same thing about them is going to bug you.

This sucks. Why did James have to talk about this? It makes me feel like crap because I have done it so often. Of course it’s not a sin to do it, but  I don’t want to live miserably my whole life either.

It’s a challenge! I like to be challenged. AND we don’t have to try and control it alone (that’s the good news for me!). The truth is, it is impossible for us to tame our own tongue (james 3:8).  I need God to control it for me. I’m an ordinary, simple guy just like any of you out there.

When is this difficult for you?

ordinarily,

L.P.G.

I’ll try VERY hard to update my blog daily, but I apologize in advance if I don’t. On Sundays, I’ll bring back some notes from church and give my thoughts on the sermon (including the notes on the sermon) here.

Just because I speak about God and the love he has to offer to each and every one of us, I don’t consider myself better than you. I am just like you- a saint who sometimes gets off track, a sinner trying to be a better person, a guy learning to live for God, even though it’s sometimes hard to understand him and impossible to understand him fully. “There is no difference, ²³for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” -NIV

It’s gonna be a blast! It’s gonna be real…